Imminent Beaver Invasion

So I was sitting in my car, humming along to some Eagles song, on my way to lunch with my dad, minding my own buisiness on what had up until then been an obnoxiously uneventful day
and then
BAM.
There was a fracking beaver. Digging in the dirt. In the middle of downtown. This, for those from places like Wisconsin or New England or Russia or wherever the heck beavers are prevalent, is not a typical occurrance. This is as close to a metropolis as you get in my area. It was right outside this hugeass apartment complex and mall. And a country club. Relevence failures, dialogue!

Me: *double takes* There was a beaver back there!
Dad: Lawlno.
Me: Lawlyeah.
Dad: Are you sure?
Me: I suppose it could have been a badger. (For the record, I am completely unaware of what a badger looks like. I just said it because it sounded a little more believable.)
Dad: I don't believe you. But I'm going to take an extra five mintues to circle around the block and prevent both of us from getting lunch even though we've both expressed the sentiment that we're fracking hungry.
Me: Mkayz.
*awkward pause as we round block*
Me: Yeah, no. That's not a beaver. It's a ferret.
Dad: Yeah. No. No, yeah it is. A beaver.
Me: Yeah. No. Yeah.
Dad: No, look at its tail!
*people behind us patiently lay on their horns*

So we left. It looked like a beaver, except for the tail. It had a little stumpy furry one, not the big flat characteristic tail. So in effect it looked like a hamster. One that's bigger than your head. Giant mutant hamster.
I saw beavers last week too, on a date with my girlfriend. We were walking by this creek behind her pool, and there they were, two or three beavers just chillaxing. She, after hearing this story, agrees with me that beavers and hamsters and other smallish mammals of the sort are massing their forces. Starting my weapons and rations stockpile now.
I had to look up how to spell fracking "imminent". Clearly, my brain is ready for me to start school again.

Word of the Day: Badger
Song of the Day: Annie Dan - Speechwriters LLC
Dead Composer of the Day: Gustav Mahler
Honorable Mention: Camille Saint-Saens